Is it too late to start?

[Budde]

Originally Posted by Qathe

Hi...I'm new to this site but have a question. I'm 41 and maybe it's perimenopausal hormones, but I can't stop thinking about sex. Only trouble is, I happen to be a 41-year-old virgin. (Yes, we do exist!) Long story, but I had a very strict upbringing, then took care of aging/ill parents and grandparents til they all passed on. Now I'm alone in the world but tired of being alone.

My question is, is it really too late to start, at my age...? Would any man take me seriously? Never had any sort of romantic relationship before. (Unless the one with my vibrator counts...!) Or would more or less having a fling be the best I could hope for?

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

~C.

As long as you have the desire I don't care if your 60. By all means go for it with all your heart and soul. If I were dating again and I met you a 41 year old virgin it would not bother me in the least. Some may look at it as a golden opportunity. Lets say a teacher student relationship if you will. I've had sex with way more then my fair share of wonderful women. Some had more experience then others some had more or less experience then myself. It never mattered to me. For the most part I can say all of my experiences were great one's and why should your be any different. Just go out be yourself and you'll find someone who you will be attracted to etc. I gather you don't have a lot of dating experience do to your past situation but if I were you I wouldn't mention the virgin thing too soon just to be a on the cautious side. After all unless you want to be intimate with the person what difference does it make? I'm confident you'll do fine and go through all the ups and downs of being sexually active.


Best of luck to you getting lucky....

[liv789]

I think its great that you are ready to seek the challenge of going into the dating world and enter a new arena like this! I don't think it's ever too late to start. Unfortunately, I think many people in your situation (and yes, I've heard of others!) decide that it's too hard to do, and leave that part of life unexplored. So, I think it's wonderful that you are ready to take the plunge! Go for it! It is hard entering the dating world, but when you find someone that you can love and who loves you, there is just nothing to compare.

I agree with the others. Its never to late, but I wouldn`t recommend just going out and finding a one night stand, or fling either.
Good luck.

It's absolutely never too late to start! And you don't need to find another 41 year old virgin either. I was a virgin until I was 39 when I met my current boyfriend. It's not that I was "holding out" or "waiting for marriage" or anything silly like that either. When we met, he didn't give one hoot that I was a virgin! He said he didn't think it would be any sort of problem and he was right. Our first night of sex as we lay naked together we actually did a "get aquanited" session where he told me more about sex, male body parts, female body parts, eroginous zones, etc. than I ever learned about online. Time has now passed and he now tells me that I'm honestly the best lover he has ever had. Probably because a better communicator. The most important thing in a relationship is clear communication and understanding. That includes while having sex. So don't be afraid to talk about it. Every woman is different and you know your body best. Regardless of how experienced your partner is, it'll still be your responsibility to let him know what works for you and what does not. You really can't expect him to magically know how to please you just because he has experience with different woman. It doesn't work that way. That is the same in any new relationship and lack of virginity wouldn't help with that anyway so you're not really handicapped there. Be confident and open to doing new stuff. Don't get freaked out by cum and lots of it everywhere. Maybe I'm just lucky to have found a good guy?

Oh, by the way, the actual process of "dating" is the absolute pits. I hope I never have to go back to dating ever again.