A little confused

Hi all! Ok, I've been dating my bf a little over a year now and we just recently started having sex. We had talked about it before and I found out that he doesn't masturbate! I thought that guys had to masturbate. If he doesn't masturbate doesn't that mean that he gets blue balls? Why wouldn't a guy masturbate. I'd appreciate any help.

Thanks

[Cherry]

Nobody HAS to masturbate. Tho it can be fun and can help. Masturbating is a wonderful way to find out what feels good, sexually, so you can better express that to your partner. But nobody HAS to do it.

Here is a link about "nlue balls" that you might find interesting.

And just as a side note. He might SAY he doesn't masturbate, but that doens't mean he doesn't. He very well COULD and just isn't comfortable talking about it.

Happy reading.

My first boyfriend that answered me honestly 'bout masterbating replied with " I think 'bout you when I do it " Suggesting masterbastion in your absence is a good thing and might enable for him to be more truthful 'bout his self expierences in the past. My suggestions probably won't answer your question, but could be a good start ! Some things only time alone can answer......Have fun there's always plenty of time.

There's an old joke about how surveys show that 90% of all guys admit masturbating and the other 10% are lying. Your bf may be an exception, but I'd bet my nest egg that his hand and his penis are well acquainted with one another. Problem is, most of us are brought up to think it's something to be ashamed of and don't own up to. Preventing blue balls has very little to do with it--we masturbate, even when we're in loving and sexually active relationships, because it's a bit of self-indulgent fun--like sneaking a bacon cheeseburger when your doc is on your case about your high cholesterol count.

Back when my wife and I were dating and building up to having sex, she asked if she could watch me masturbating, to help her learn what I like. My first reaction was like your bf's--I was about to tell her I don't do it (which would have been a very big lie). Instead, I told her I'd let her watch me if she'd let me watch her.
We did it, we each learned a lot about the other's sexuality, and we started putting the lessons into practice on our next date.

But if you don't want to do a show-and-tell, I wouldn't push the guy on the subject. Practically all women coexist with masturbation in their guy's sex life. It doesn't really matter whether your guy really doesn't do it or does and says he doesn't--it's not a judgment on you or on your real sex life together. He can be in love with you and his penis at the same time.

[headboard]

Maxxy's got this one nailed. In my experience, the best sex will occur AFTER you've watched each other masturbate.

Hes prolly masterbated many-a-times and just doesnt knowhow to tell you yet. If I were you... I would tease him a lot, and then be like "oh... Im sorry, I dont know how to jerk you off" then he'll be all in the mood and be like "This is how you do it!" and then he'll do it. Then you can be like "a-ha! Caught you! You lied to me. If you're lying about masterbation, what else are you lying to me about!? <Smack!>" Then you can break up with him and get your revenge!!!

Basically your boyfriend is lying. NO male that I know of has not masturbated before.

Why is he lying?

1)Too embarrassed (maybe he was brought up to think it's wrong)

2)Trying to make himself look like MR. MORAL so that you'll like him.

If he is not lying, then there is probably something seriously wrong with him.

[Cherry]

Originally posted by StinkyNuts
Basically your boyfriend is lying. NO male that I know of has not masturbated before.

Why is he lying?

1)Too embarrassed (maybe he was brought up to think it's wrong)

2)Trying to make himself look like MR. MORAL so that you'll like him.

If he is not lying, then there is probably something seriously wrong with him.

Not true. While it is uncommon, there ARE people, male and female, who do not masturbate. If he IS one of those who doesn't, that does NOT mean there's something wrong with him.

While I think it's highly unlikely that he doesn't masturbate, I don't think it's right for you to come in and say her boyfriend is lying, or that there's something seriously wrong with him. These kinds of things are rather unkind and more than likely, unappreciated. What if someone who honestly DOESN'T masturbate were to read that comment? Think of how hurtful that could be to them, reading that someone thinks there is someething wrong with them because they don't masturbate. Think about the things you say BEFORE you say them. The way you word things on a forum is just as important as the message behind the words.

As I said in my first post in this thread, he's probably just not comfy in sharing that information. I won't begin to presume WHY, because it's honestly not MY business. But again, I don't think it's because he's pretending to have a level of morality above the "average male". It's probably more about comfort than anything.

StinkyNuts, please, think about your words before you say them. Be kind AND respectful in the way you say things. It goes over MUCH better.

Originally posted by Ann Andriani
It's as if masturbation is substitute for sex. Your b/f may not feel the need to masturbate as much,

Yeah, he doesn't feel the need to masturbate. Altho for him it's that sex is better than masturbating... and he just can't cum anymore when he masturbates. I just excite him so much more. I still masturbate sometimes... like after sex... or on days when we're apart. I don't really care if he masturbates or not. I have even encouraged him to do so... but he's stubborn, he'd rather wait for the real thing. Silly boy. :rolleyes: