Help!

[bamachick]

we did talk about it in detail, the night afterwards, him talking about what he enjoyed and stuff might have what triggered this, I don't know. But while we was talking about it I was fine with it, and we had sex, great sex. But our sex life wasn't lacking or anything before, we wasn't trying to fix anything. I think what really has hit me is the fact that he's had sex with someone else, but like you said I shouldn't be mad about it, because there were no boundaries, I was expecting it to happen and it happened, I WAS alright with it, but ... but still I feel like now what if he is thinking about her while he was with me, is that why we had such amazing sex the nights afterwards, was it her he was picturing, not me?
Not only that, did I open a door that I didn't want open... I mean he's never cheated on me, but since I allowed this to happen will he think it's alright to now? Also what if she enjoyed my husband toooo much? I mean she seemed like she enjoyed the whole experience as well, what if she wants to come back for more, and this time I'm not ok with it... I mean I asked her to join the first time, and she could have easily said no, but she did because I wanted her to and she wanted to, so what kind of person would that make me if she asks next time and I say "I don't think so"... maybe I'm jumping the conclusions because may have never entered her mind the first time until I approached the subject.
I guess I was hoping watching me and her would have been what kind of turned him on, but as we was talking about it, he let me know that he enjoyed "THE WHOLE THING"
Thank you for the advice I was really needing to hear that I'm not just crazy... I was just hoping to write some of my feelings here, and put it into perspective, and it worked. So Thanks.

[Cherry]

Well, I doubt your desire for a threesome, and the threesome itself, is giong to drive your husband to have an affair. There's a big difference between a consensual act of including a third in your sex life to him having a girlfriend on the side. I think what he's probably facing right now is the sheer excitement about getting to participate n "every man's fantasy". So while he's talking about "when can we do this again", I'd not take it as a desire to have another woman in your bed every nite. Think of it more as a kid at the carnival. They ride the roller coaster and get a rush. Then they want to ride it gain and again, just for the rush. Eventually, some kids ride the coaster til they puke, and some kids ride it for a while, then decide they're ready to go home. Right now, I'm betting he's wanting to get back on the coaster for that rush.

And as far as how you'd say no, should the other girl as for it again? Really, it's YOUR choice on whether or not you do it again. If you feel the need to offer her some sort of explanation, a simple case of, "It was an exnjoyable experience, but it's not something that I'd care to repeat now. I'm still sorting things out from it." should suffice. If she cares about you, that will be good enough for her.

Good luck.

[bamachick]

thanks for all the comments and advice, I am pretty sure we are going to talk about it tonight because I am really just the kind of person who has to talk about what I'm thinking about, and this is all that's on my mind today. My mind was just working overtime thinking about it last night and this morning... and I was getting more and more upset. I just really thought that since I made it through that night and no hard feelings, I was in the clear, I mean my husband even asked me afterwards when she wasnt in the room if I was really alright, and if he is doing anything wrong, and I said no, that I was fine and I wasn't lying I wasn't mad then. I hate that I started feeling this way days later, but my husband is very understanding so I don't think this will be a huge issue, I think I am making it more than it is because I am constantly thinking about it, heck I might be thinking about it more than he is... but I am confident this isn't going to end us or anything, I think if I am able to approach this like Ann said without trying to make him feel bad for what he done that night, I will be able to talk to him about the entire thing without it starting an argument. Thanks.

[Vensanto]

I can totally see where your husband is coming from. If I had a threesome with two women, I would totally be like "ok, when's the next time?!" I wouldn't fault him. He's just being a typical guy if you ask me, and I think I'm a typical guy for the most part.

[Ann Andriani]

Yay Bama!

I'm so glad that things worked out for you both. The letter was a great idea!

Ann

[bamachick]

we got to hang out with the "other woman" this weekend... I was a little worried about how I would feel about it... but it was great! I was kinda worried that he wouldn't do anything but flirt around with her and stuff, but we had a blast. We cooked out Sunday and watched the race, it was nice to just be able to relax around her and realize that I really was just overreacting with my husband. I just let my insecurities take over me.
Nothing involving the threesome came up, and my husband didn't do anything out of the ordinary that made me worry. We talked about it later that night, and he let me know that nothing would happen again, unless I gave my approval again.

[browneyed girl]

See........ things are just fine.
I`m sure that he loves you very much, and is taking your feelings in consideration.

[Cherry]

Glad you're feeling better, Bama. And I'm glad he's willing to go at YOUR pace.

any update on this story? im curious to know how you are both doing./

[bamachick]

I apoligize I haven't responded sooner, I haven't been on this site in a very long time, actually finally got my computer back online. We are actually still doing great in our marriage, we are both happy.
We have not had anymore threesomes or anything. We are both just really happy with each other.