When he's not a virgin and she is

This is just a curiosity question since I'm neither a man or a virgin.

I know men are usually nervous their first time, but it's worse for a female because we anticipate pain and bleeding - which of course never happens for some woman and for some it's severe. Plus, once we lose our virginity, a part of our body is changed forever.

The question for the non-virgins got me thinking is all. I know the man who took my virginity was a little apprehensive at first since 1) We weren't involved and 2) He was afraid of causing me pain. When we did have sex, he was too afraid to really enjoy it because he was afraid of hurting me.

So, for the guys here who have been a woman's first time when they weren't virgins as well, how did YOU feel? Were you apprehensive about hurting her? Was it romantic, did you see it as a conquest or achievement, did you feel guilty....? Was it a girlfriend, and one night stand, or did you have some other relationship with her? Did it feel any different for you physically from non-virgin women you'd been with?

Just curious what goes through a guy's head when he's about to deflower someone. I know, just like for some women it's no big deal and for others it's a very significant experience, that men's feelings differ about it too, but just wondering what the men here thought about it.

[browneyed girl]

LOL.....
I`m not a guy either, but I will add that my first experience was with a guy who stated that I wasn`t his first (when later in life, I find out that it was.)
He was just as freaked out as I was! Hell...he didn`t know what to do, anymore than what I did...although he tried to act like it.
It didn`t happen, just because he was rock hard, and I was dry. He tried to put it in, and there was no possible way...that thing was going in anywhere down there.
So yeah.....he was just as scared as I was.... he didn`t care about deflowering nothing...

[Gooch]

Well, I AM a guy, and I HAVE deflowered someone, and I can tell you that it can be a mental burden if you really care about the person you're with. My present g/f was a virgin when we started dating, and she was nervous as all Hell her (our) first time. Her previous b/f had dumped her because she wouldn't "put out", which only made her anxiety worse. After a few weeks, the topic of sex came up, and she said she wanted to. But it seemed to me like she only wanted to get it over and done with, mainly so I wouldn't leave her. I cared for her more than that, so I told her I wasn't going anywhere, and we wouldn't do anything she didn't want to do. I guess I was pretty convincing, because it didn't take long for her to decide she wanted to. After about a month, and after a kind of breakfast/shopping/movie/dinner day trip, we went to her place, started fooling around, and things just progressed from there. She told me she was expecting the pain, and wouldn't hold it against me, but I was nervous about it all the same. All I could do about it was not skimp on the foreplay, use lots of lube, and go slowly. It was akward, for both of us, but special nonetheless. And it really wasn't all that painful for her. It hurt a little, but she called it "a good kind of hurt". That was a mere 5 months ago. She's a banshee in bed now, and I always have the clear concience that comes with knowing that I let her first time be HER decision.

There's a lesson here for any guy in a relationship with a virgin. DON'T EVER PUSH HER FOR SEX!!! When she wants to give it up, she will. And she will be VERY grateful that you waited.

[igor]

The wife and I were each other's first. Our wedding night was the first time we did it. If there was any physical resistance, it was so slight that neither of us noticed it. The experience was, of course, indescribable. I don't remember how many times we did it that night but it was more than we've done since then.

[Frantik]

I've never been in a serious relationship before the one I am currently in and she wasn't a virgin when we first did it. However there is a number of girls that I did "deflower" through High School and honestly I never really considered much about it, I just did it, if the girl said to go slower, I went slower, if she told me to stop, I stopped. Never really considered it to be a big deal.