Help, I've never done anal before

[marybleu]

Last night, after sex, my boyfriend brought up that he wants to try anal sex and I've never done it before, not even masturbated anally. I have no idea what do do. I'm sure there's more to it than him just shoving it in me. haha

Like, what would I need to do to prep?
Do we use lube? and if so, what kind?
Dose it hurt? Does it feel good?
We don't use condoms during regular sex (I don't like them) but should we during anal?

I don't know what questions to ask, so feel free to let me in on everything.

thanks guys
~mary~

[Ann Andriani]

Welcome to AllSexAdvice Marybleu.

I want to give you kudos for coming onto this board and asking your question. Too many people believe that anal sex is as simple as vaginal intercourse and that's just not true. As a result, their first time is usually pretty bad. So good for you!

Anal sex is not difficult, but it does take some patience and understanding. Once you understand the basics, you'll be just fine. Instead of me going on and on here, I'd like to direct to a few articles I wrote on this topic.

How to Have Anal Sex Without Pain
Intro to Anal Sex
Common Questions about Anal Sex

A member just shared her first time anal sex story with us here, so you may want to take a peek there as well...
Losing My Anal Virginity

I'm sure you'll get plenty of other responses here as well. If you have any other questions, don't hesitate to ask.

Ann

[XStripper777]

Hey there Marybleu!

I am that other member Ann was talking about that shared her story of the first time. I do hope you follow her link and read about my experience. It was very nice. A wonderful experience. But, I really do believe that it was only a wonderful experience for two reasons:

First: I read Ann's article where she shared what it was like the first time she tried anal, and I followed her advice perfectly. Even though I didn't think it was quite necessary to take every single step, I did it anyway, and now I'm really glad I did. The only thing that I did differently from Ann was that she was on top when she tried anal so that she could control the movements and how much went in, etc... I opted to go for a more doggy style position where I was sorta standing up on the side of the bed and leaning over it. Of course, I ended up putting my knees up on the bed as it became more comfortable, but you get the general idea.

Second: I tried anal with someone who I really trust and with whom I am completely comfortable. My husband and I have been together for about 8 years, and we've been through our share of having the world against us, ya know? I trusted him not to ram it in really hard out of excitement. He is more sexually mature than a teenager, I'm not sure if that has anything to do with his ability to control himself at a time like that, but I think it did. He was able to "control" himself and go really slow even though I know he wanted to "rape" me, lol. We were also VERY open and honest with one another through out the whole experience. He constantly asked me if it felt alright... I'd had to tell him to stop moving for just a couple seconds at one time, and just hold it in me... we just communicated throughout the whole thing. It made it nice.

So, I would highly suggest that if you and your boyfriend think that sex is one of those things that should just happen naturally, and you don't feel like you should have to communicate while it's happening... you should work on opening up and learning to communicate DURING sex BEFORE you try anal. That was really THE most important thing with me. If we hadn't been able to communicate and discuss what was going on, it could have easily turned into a bad experience. I am assuming that you're not so naive as to think that you "shouldn't" talk during love-making because you were smart enough to seek advice before trying anal, so good for you!

As long as you completely trust your man, and are emotionally "together", you'll have a great time. I wouldn't suggest doing this to be "kinky" for the first time. Of course, after you get more used to it, it would be fun. But, the first time, I don't think would be the appropriate time to get rough.

Best of wishes to you! I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time. Just remember to make sure you trust him and are able to communicate with him during anal sex. Also, be sure to lube up first. Have him play with you with his fingers before sticking his dick in you, and just sorta "stretch" yourself a little before having him in you. I guess, basically, just read Ann's articles and you'll know all you'll need to know. Good luck, and I hope you have a wonderful experience like I did. And, if you're not too shy about it, you should come back and share your story afterwards! We would all love to hear how it goes for you!

With love,
Kristi