How We Got Involved In Swinging

[XStripper777]

Jody and I have been together for seven years today... of course, there was a little off and on around the time I got pregnant for my daughter... but a few years after she was born, we got back together, and today, it's been exactly seven years. It also happens to be our second son's birthday (you know what we were doing the whole time when we very first got back together, lol). We've learned so much since then... so much about each other and about ourselves too. We've learned to love each others' quirks when there was a time when one anothers' "quirks" drove us crazy, lol.

It's so very nice to know that the other person needs you... I know that sometimes that gets to be a burden when someone else needs you. But in our case, it's nice because we both know the other needs us, and we both know that we need the other. It makes us appreciate one another a lot.

I brought up the topic last night about one of those clubs you talked to me about... actually, he's the one who brought up whether or not I'd like to sleep with two or more men at a time... and I told him that I'd really like to try out these swing clubs and watch others have sex. He didn't really give me a straight answer, and I didn't expect him to. I had sprung it up on him and surprised the hell out of him, so I'd like to let him think about it for a while. I think he'd be okay with watching others, or having others watch us, but I don't think he'd be very open to the idea of allowing another man to have sex with me... and to be honest, I'd not really want that either. I would be interested in having another woman share our bed, but naturally, I'm a little uncomfortable with that too. I know Jody loves me... I know he'd not want to leave me, and I completely trust him. That said, I'm so afraid that the other woman could do something for him that I coudn't do. And I know that I should give Jody more respect and trust than that... I know he'd never want to leave me for another woman or anything like that. I just fear that he'd like her more... or like the things she does to him more. I know that's a bit childish, and I do trust Jody... and of course, I wouldn't want to sleep with a woman that I'd trust completely.

I've got a questiont, though... Is vain of me to want to sleep with another woman that looks a lot like me? I don't know why I want to do that... I've had fantasies when I was younger about sleeping with myself (I know that sounds silly, but it's true), but then I'd feel like I didn't have to worry that she was prettier than me. Women are so self conscious, and vain at the same time, lol. What do you think?

I know I'm rambling once again, and probably not making much sense, but I'm trying to sort things out in my mind.

And advice or suggestions would be appreciated. I just want to know what you think about it. Of course, I've only run the idea of watching others have sex in a club... and just see where it goes from there... so it's still VERY early on in our conversations... but what do you think about it?

[Mark & Lin]

I think you both need to proceed with caution - baby steps, as Ann put it. Both of you are going to have a lot of questions of each other, and that's a good thing. You have to talk things through and do a lot of thinking both separately and together. You'll also need to be as specific as you can about what you both want, don't want, and what you hope to get out of inviting another woman to your bed. Don't be afraid to talk about it. A lot of guys are reluctant to give a straight answer, because they don't want to appear to be too eager to have sex with another woman. You might have to cajole it out of him, and you might not.

I don't think it sounds vain at all. I think he'll want a bit of input as well, but that's to be expected. One thing Lin was surprised about was exactly how different her other playmates are. That's going to happen too. You'll also need to be completely up front with anyone you're thinking about inviting into your bed. Everybody needs to be comfortable with each other, and know what the limits are right up front, so that there are no nasty surprises for anyone.

As far as the clubs are concerned, I think that if you're both up front with each other, and he's perfectly clear in his mind that this is more curiosity about the voyeuristic/exhibitionistic sides of the lifestyle, he'll probably be more at ease with the idea. Remember - no means no. That's the first rule. I really don't think you'll have a problem with somebody trying to pressure either of you into anything, but if it should happen, just notify the staff - they'll handle it. People WILL approach you, they'll want to talk to you, and you might very well be invited to participate with someone. It's perfectly acceptable to politely decline any such invitations. I have a feeling you're both going to be too nervous about it being your first time to want to participate anyway. You WILL be nervous - I'll guarantee it. It'll be fine though.

Just proceed with caution. You're in no rush. Make sure both of you are comfortable with everything you do before you do it. Nothing's going to happen overnight - and nor should it, really. If it helps any, I'm typing up another of my e-novels titled "What Happens at a Swing Club?" I'll post it as soon as I finish it.