sharing wife

[olsjean]

we known each other for 48 yes we are in our late 50s but we are in shape my best friend always has been attraced to my wife and stayed single i think because he comparied his relationships to her now she on the other hand has keep this up long new years eve kisses so dances well alot of things though the years i have my resons to belive that i am her only man and now shes been though the change her sex drive is way down i tried every thing i work alot but cook and do my share but its not enough drinks and romanance is hard work for her iwant her to be happy i dont think i would lose if i told her she could make love to our fieind maybe the experince would wake her up how would i go about this they had there chances and our whole group of friends thought it happened years ago now theres no free pass for me i really dont have any thing going i really dont see this as as a porn move at this stage of our live maybe it will do us good

[Frantik]

First of all I'd just like to say puntuation is your friend, kind of hard to read a massive wall of run-on sentence after run-on sentence.

Anywho, personally I wouldn't recommend just coming straight out and telling her she can sleep with another man, if anything she would probably take this out of context of what you really mean. I'd recommend talking to her and seeing if she can tell you why she hasn't been feeling like having sex lately. If she opens up to that you could probably work on whatever the reason is and even possibly start thinking of some new ways to spice up your sex life, things to keep it interesting for her and you. If later on you would still think about having another person joining your sexlife I'd say that you need to do alot more communication or it will only cause more problems. Hope that helps at all.

[Budde]

Originally Posted by olsjean

we known each other for 48 yes we are in our late 50s but we are in shape my best friend always has been attraced to my wife and stayed single i think because he comparied his relationships to her now she on the other hand has keep this up long new years eve kisses so dances well alot of things though the years i have my resons to belive that i am her only man and now shes been though the change her sex drive is way down i tried every thing i work alot but cook and do my share but its not enough drinks and romanance is hard work for her iwant her to be happy i dont think i would lose if i told her she could make love to our fieind maybe the experince would wake her up how would i go about this they had there chances and our whole group of friends thought it happened years ago now theres no free pass for me i really dont have any thing going i really dont see this as as a porn move at this stage of our live maybe it will do us good

Well I personally don't care about your grammatical pontification in the least but I did get what you were trying to say. It is strictly my opinion but I don't think this is a path you should be going down. Typically in relationships where one partner either allows or encourages the other to have sex with an other person or multiple persons weather they participate or not it is usually a successful marriage or relationship and this is done sort of as an enhancement to the relationship not as a fix per-say/ If you get my drift. Open marriages or swinging relationships are usually successful when both parties are secure with each other enough so to allow this to happen. In your case if I'm hearing you right something is missing in your relationship. If I am correct you need to find out what that is and try your best to rectify the situation. I don't like to use the word fix as your wife is not a machine where you need to order some spare parts. Did you think that if you were to just spring this up on her that she might perceive it to be that she isn't sexually attractive to you anymore or that simply you don't want to keep her all to yourself which is the norm.
Communication is the key, talk to her in a non sexual atmosphere and see if you can find out whats missing or why the flame has died out so to speak. There had to be some pretty good chemistry there for a marriage to last as long as yours has so why not try and rekindle that flame.

If you wish to pursue the letting your wife be with another man you need to do a lot of soul searching. Are you a strong enough person to deal with this after the fact. It's not like oh well my wife slept with him before we were married. It will be that another man has had your wife and there will be nothing you can ever do to undo that. I think you have to admit that it is a rather extreme measure to take.

Hope things work out for you, good luck

[olsjean]

i dont type but here goes if she wont talk to me or go to professonail if she just doesnt like me any more how do i get her to play she looks great and takes time to do so , i just want her to be happy

[Luvoral]

Originally Posted by olsjean

we known each other for 48 yes we are in our late 50s but we are in shape my best friend always has been attraced to my wife and stayed single i think because he comparied his relationships to her now she on the other hand has keep this up long new years eve kisses so dances well alot of things though the years i have my resons to belive that i am her only man and now shes been though the change her sex drive is way down i tried every thing i work alot but cook and do my share but its not enough drinks and romanance is hard work for her iwant her to be happy i dont think i would lose if i told her she could make love to our fieind maybe the experince would wake her up how would i go about this they had there chances and our whole group of friends thought it happened years ago now theres no free pass for me i really dont have any thing going i really dont see this as as a porn move at this stage of our live maybe it will do us good

As naturists we have known many couples experiment with swinging,only to see many relationships fail.Having threesomes is quite different,but never seperate and allow a one on one if you have any relationship concerns.Fix your problem first...And second making love is for those who are in love,for your friend it would be having sex with her.But i don't think this would be the answer.Try uniting with tantra as this can awaken new and hidden pleasures of the body and mind with many different types of orgasms.For me my husband introduced outdoor nudity,as well as indoor.Stripping off my panties in public and best of all that i could squirt and love anal,as I never did before.At fifty my body has awaken and developed a oral fetish and can have an orgasm just from him shooting in my mouth.Never too old to try something new.

[Ann Andriani]

Originally Posted by olsjean

i dont type but here goes if she wont talk to me or go to professonail if she just doesnt like me any more how do i get her to play she looks great and takes time to do so , i just want her to be happy

I'd hate to say it, but if your wife doesn't like you anymore, maybe you should both reconsider this relationship. I understand you want your wife to be happy, but what about your happiness? You deserve, at any age, to be in a relationship with someone that likes you, wants you and respects you. If you're wife isn't willing to work on the relationship that's very telling, telling me you may need to move on. You're never too old to date or to find a new love.

Ann

[Ann Andriani]

Originally Posted by Luvoral

For me my husband introduced outdoor nudity,as well as indoor.Stripping off my panties in public and best of all that i could squirt and love anal,as I never did before.At fifty my body has awaken and developed a oral fetish and can have an orgasm just from him shooting in my mouth.Never too old to try something new.

I'm glad that you've had a sexual awakening, but I'm not quite sure how this applies to Olsjean's situation.

Ann

[olsjean]

thanks i am really trying to get a hold this its nice to have input i just cant oofer that i guess it must have been in desparation , when i offer cruises. baseball games or just to go listen to some band. i thought i would going my self i should leave does any outher 57 year old go though this

[Luvoral]

Originally Posted by Ann Andriani

I'm glad that you've had a sexual awakening, but I'm not quite sure how this applies to Olsjean's situation.

Ann

Maybe I got too involved in myself.But I think sex has a lot to do with a relationship and happiness.I think he should try all measures before exhausting his relationship and taking the chance to let another man have sex with his wife could be the end to both relationships.

[Mark & Lin]

I need to echo the other sentiments expressed in this forum - swinging (and yes, this qualifies as swinging) probably isn't for you at this time. You know your wife better than anyone here, and if you think she might react that way, she probably will. I do know that a loss of sex drive is pretty common in post menopausal women, and it can be treated. If you're hesitant to talk to her about that, then trying to talk to her about swinging will undoubtedly be tougher.

In short, I'll join the 'work on your communication' chorus and suggest to you that you talk to her about having a talk with her doctor about the low sex drive.

Good Luck in whatever you decide!