Had sex twice, 3rd times the charm?

[KieraGirl8]

Hello everyone, this is my first post on this forum and I need some advice.

Sorry if someone already posted on this issue.

I'm 18, and my boyfriend and I have just started having sex; only a few days ago acutally. I was a virgin and he wasn't. Well, I don't know if this is normal or not, but it's not really feeling that great for me. I don't know if it's because I'm just starting out, or if one of us is doing something wrong, or what.

He has a pretty good sized penis, and every time he'd push in deeper, I'd just feel this enormous amount of pressure and would make him ease up. We've had sex twice already and the pressure/pain feeling hasn't really ceased. Is this normal? And will it begin to feel better later, or should I worry?

We've used lubrication, so I know that's not what it is. And I know that I do get pleasure from vaginal penetration, because when he uses his fingers, it feels fine.

Any advice would be great??

[Frantik]

I'd have to say that thusfar it's pretty normal, it's going to take you awhile to really get used to him, especially if he's well endowed. Just keep using the lube, get in lots of foreplay and take it slow, don't let him just start thrusting like a mad man. When he gets in all the way the first time just make him stay there untill you feel a bit more comfortable and then let him start going slowly, make him go at your pace, not his(girl on top position helps that). Don't get frustrated, it'll get better.

[KieraGirl8]

Thanks, I'll be sure to keep that in mind.

[LostSerenity]

Everything Frantik said is true. It's definitely normal for the first few times, I was the same way. Just make sure you're sufficiently turned on before you guys go it. Your uterus actually moves back, deeper into you to make room for a penis the more you get turned on. If he tries to penetrate you before you're fully turned on he can press against your uterus, which can cause pain and/or discomfort for you.

Also try to use your fingers or his on your clitoris while he's penetrating you. That feels fantastic for many women. Speaking for myself, it makes things even more enjoyable You could also try a small vibrator.

[KieraGirl8]

K, thanks. It is eases my mind alot to know that it's normal.

[Ann Andriani]

Welcome to ASA KieraGirl.

I believe what you're experiencing is normal as well. I think you've received some good thoughts here. I always like to send those new to intercourse to this article from Scarleteen.com because it has some really great info in it.

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/se...ntercourse_101

Please take a peek and hang in there. Things should become more enjoyable for you. Just make sure you take the time with the foreplay (oral sex, fingering, toys) so that you're aroused enough for intercourse. Plus, as difficult as it may be, try to relax and allow yourself to get into what's happening. Take care of fears and concerns before sex play starts so you can turn them off during sex and really feel what you're experiencing.

You may also want to tell your b/f to try slower, more shallow penetration in the beginning. He doesn't need to thrust deeply and quickly right away. I know men get to a point of no return, but if he can hang in there for a bit and let you guide him, you'll both benefit from it.

Another pointer is when he initially penetrates you, have him take pause. Get used to him being inside you, then you grind against him a bit, try moving your hips a bit. When we're new to sex, we women tend to lay there and take it. Part of laying there causes us to tense up a bit, so if your b/f puts you in charge of the motion in the ocean, then you may find more pleasure and less discomfort.

Experiment with different positions. Woman on top can be great for newbies because it puts the woman in control. Straddle him and once he penetrates you, lean your upperbody down towards him. This will allow for more intimacy plus it gives you more control over him penetrating you too deeply.

Hang in there.
Ann

[KieraGirl8]

Thanks Ann, alot of what you said was true about the tensing up and all. I'll be sure to keep all this advice in mind the next time we decide to make love, because I want it to be as enjoyable as possible for both of us. And I'll be sure to read the article. Thanks everyone.

[Ann Andriani]

I'm glad our thoughts here have been helpful to you. Please keep us posted on your progress. Your situation will be very enlightening to others.

Ann