Premature Ejaculation

[flawless21]

Alright, this has been happening for a while and it's really frustrating me so i decided to come here and find some answers. Hopefully some of you men have experienced (or are still experiencing) the same problem.

Basically, whenever my dick gets hard (ex: watching a porn flick or seeing a hot girl nearby), if it's hard for a period of time, a little bit of some clear, white sticky stuff starts to come out and i am assuming it's pre-cum? I mean, i am not even touching my dick or anything .. i just have a boner, simple as that. I do not understand why this pre-cum is occurring when i am not even stroking it?

Sadly, i am a virgin so i am worried. When the time comes to having sex for the first time, i worry that i won't even last 10 seconds. I have seen videos of guys who pull out after penetrating for just 5 SECONDS! Also, don't give me the "you gotta control it", "breathe right" kind of crap. That just doesn't work. I practice quite often but my arousal is just too much and i have to let go before i explode.

On the other hand, i just AMAZES ME how some guys last forever. They foreplay for like 5-10 minutes, get a blowjob for 5-10 minutes, then they have sex for 20-40 minutes and are still rock hard without blowing their load. I mean, how the HELL do they do that? I am so jealous. As for me, i would probably blow my load if i was just grinding a hot girl at a dance with our clothes on. That's how pathetic it is.

Please, anyone, help me. Is it a genetic thing or do you just need to master it with experience? The biggest reason why i don't take most of my relationships to the next level because of my fear of failure of not performing in bed.

[Gooch]

Don't worry about any of this. Yes, the clear fluid you see is precum, and no there's nothing you can do to control it. But that's a good thing, since it actually serves a pretty important biological function. It coats the inside of the urethra to sterilize it before ejaculating. You can't control it, and there's really no good reason to want to.

As far as cumming too fast is concerned, you might the first time, or the first few times. It's pretty common, and if you're honest with your partner about your virginity, and they're the understanding type, there's no reason why this should be a huge thing. It's only a big deal if you make it a big deal. It really does take experience to get past it, and you're not doing yourself any favors by psyching yourself out over it. If anything, that will only make it worse, or even turn it into a chronic condition.

The guys you see going at it like the energizer bunny in pornos are not your average joe. They wouldn't get hired if they couldn't go for days at a time. Porn doesn't depict "real" sex, it depicts fantasy sex, so everything is exaggerated, including the guy's stamina. In truth, most guys last about 2-5 minutes of constant thrusting, but if you're still worried about it, I would suggest you learn how to give great head. If you can do that right, she won't care how long it takes you to blow your load.

Sex just takes experience to master. Nobody is born a sex god. Everyone on this board had to start at the same place you do. Just get yourself right in the head, and the rest comes naturally.

[Ann Andriani]

I think Gooch's response is wonderful, thank you Gooch.

Flawless, I'd like to send you to some more information so that you can understand the mind and body's function during sex.

This one talks about how stress affects a man's erection:
http://www.kinseyconfidential.org/20...ans-erections/

This one explains pre-ejaculate:
http://www.teenwire.com/ask/2001/as-20010503p212.php

And at this link, I talk about how to deal with cumming quicker than you want to:
http://www.allsexguide.com/premature-ejaculation.html

However, paying attention to your body during sex and masturbation will help you learn about your body. Even during masturbation, if you can bring yourself close to climaxing, then pause to stop it from happening and continue masturbating again, this will give you more control. You're new to sex, so you don't have the control that more experienced players have. That's not a problem, life is all about learning and gaining new skills. So it's important for you to pay attention to yourself and learn when that point of no return is. Then when it happens, you can do what it is you need to do to avoid it and last a little longer.

You should find some more helpful information at the following link:
http://www.jackinworld.com/ix.html#anchor1910504

Bottom line is you're new to sex. We're not taught how to have pleasurable sex, that's for each of us to find out individually and I commend you for starting down that path. The last thing I'm going to tell you is to relax because that first time is always full of anxiety, but I am going to tell you to just go with the flow and don't panic. Accepting that you still have experience to obtain and things to learn will help you to keep it all in perspective.

Ann

[flawless21]

Thank you Ann and Gooch, now i can relax a little. I think it's just that when i watch so many porn videos, i have this fear of not performing up to the expectations but those porn stars are pros and they do it for a living so i have to change my perspective a little bit.

[rice_crisp]

Well me too I get a little wet when I get hard but my girlfiend loves it, she tells me im juicy... lol...
But to give you an example... lets say you take a profesional musician thats been playing music for 40 years.. and then take another thats just beginning, well obviously they cannot play the same. So this takes experince and time and patience to reach your goal... maybe this can help if you see this way might make some sense to you.

Enjoy..

[Xzilalnx2]

I thought I'd also point out that the very fear of cumming to fast is a stress in of itself. You can conquer that fear through your experience and others' experience( getting educated by reading Ann's articles, and the link's she prescribed)