Problems Getting Started

[indigogirl]

My boyfriend and I recently decided we're ready for sex, but his body is being really uncooperative. All the way up until the last few seconds, we're great - both physically and emotionally set for sex, but then it goes downhill. While getting in place, he loses enough of his erection that he's no longer hard enough to penetrate.

Personally, I think he's just nervous since he's a virgin (though I'm not far from one myself) and that the problem is getting worse each time it reoccurs because he puts more pressure on himself to "finally get it right". Am I probably right? Has this happened to other guys (or have other girls experienced this with their boyfriends)?

The other half of the problem seems to be positioning. We have a significant height difference (plus we're both a bit on the chubby side) and he seems to need me to guide him into place, but it's really awkward/difficult to reach around us (no matter what position we try) to get him roughly where he needs to be. In the time it takes me to wiggle around the right ways to help, same loss of erection happens because he's had time to worry about it. On the very, very rare occasions I did manage to get him mostly where he needed to be, when he moved to push himself in, he'd slip the wrong way somehow and as soon as he realized it "went wrong" again, he'd lose it again. Is there one position that's less likely than others for these problems to arise?

As much as I want to finally have sex with him, what's really more important to me, though, is knowing what to do if things go wrong again. He gets so angry at himself and I feel helpless. I tried being reassuring and encouraging, and he appreciated it but hated it because it made him even more self-conscious. I tried to just be quietly affectionate and he didn't hate it as much, but I could tell in his face that that wasn't doing much good for him, either. I tried to re-excite him and just continue to be physical despite the mishap, but I could feel that his mind was just elsewhere already and I couldn't get him back. Is there something else I could do that would ease his anger or make him feel better at all?

Thank you for any help you can offer.

[Gooch]

Hmm...so the big hurdle here is just the moment of truth? In that case, you may want to take that part of the equasion out of his hands. Try getting on top of him, and kind of pre-position yourself for the quick insertion while you go heavy on the foreplay. Reach behind you or between your legs and grab a hold of him. Keep stroking it while you keep his attention focused on what you're doing above the waist, then without warning, just sit on it. Think of it as a consensual ambush. You want the penetration to come as a surprise to him. And who doesn't like surprises?

If that, or some variation of it, doesn't work, then you may want to invest in a cock ring. I've never used one, but from what I hear, you would have to keel over dead to lose an erection with one of those things on. I'm sure others on this site have more info about them than I do, so you may want to snoop around and get the 411 on them from someone else before buying one.

Good luck.

(UPDATE) 50 posts and officially feelin' sexy! Giggidy!