can guys have penis control?

[Twinkie]

other than masturbating before sex or thinking about something else during sex is there ways that a man can last longer in sex?

[Budde]

Well a cock ring works well, you may also want to experiment with different positions. Speaking strictly for myself when my wife is on top I can last for what seems like for ever. The other night she had me hard for over an hour before I finally came, not bad for an old fart

[Rayne]

That's all there is? This is a concern for me too - I'm in my early 20s and still a virgin (yes, I haven't found a girl that I'd do it with yet). I thought I'd order the Fleshlight STU and give it a try for a little variety and needless to say, I only lasted 20-30 seconds in it in a 'girl on top' position

I'm really concerned here too and need to know what I can do. It would be embarassing, not to mention what my future girlfriend would think? It sucks that a girl can be fully aroused and devote everything into a session of intercourse and last forever but a guy has to think about something non-sex related and lose a lot of sexual excitement to last just a little longer .

Rayne

[Budde]

Rayne don't think it's as simple as a woman just laying back and spreading her legs. A common misconception made by most males and plenty of whom have far more years and experience then you. A woman NEEDS to be aroused and stimulated. Foreplay is the key that unlocks that door. Too many guys think just because a woman is being fucked that she is enjoying it as much as they are. I've found over the years and I'm sure others will bear me out that you first must take your time and be cognizant of what makes your partner feel good. Don't be afraid to ask her, make the love making session all about pleasing her, about her needs and what makes her feel good. You will be amazingly surprised at how this will arouse you. Trust me the first time out of the box no guy is a John Holmes or any other big stud. As much as your friends tell you they are these sex machines, don't believe them. It all happens in time with lots of practice. Don't worry about how your going to do your first time. Hell your giving yourself performance anxiety before you've been with a woman. Try controlling ejaculating when you masturbate. Don't go flailing away at 100 mph. Just as when your having intercourse bang away for a little then slow down and fuck her long and slow make it last. Your not in a speed race but figure more of a marathon. Your ultimate goal seems to be to last long, so fuck a little and then pull out and let her suck your cock, give her some oral, lick and play with her breast. Things will happen in time to make you realise your becoming a better lover.
Relax and take the pressure off yourself trust me you'll be much better off.

[Rayne]

Oh for sure, sorry I didn't mean to say that I would be a self-fish lover. On the contrary, I'm definitely a giver over a receiver (I have some experience with foreplay, just nothing intimate down south if you catch my drift). I got insanely aroused the few times I've had with foreplay (Necking, kissing, caressing a girl I dated for a short time), so much to the point where I had released qutie a bit of precum. I was just concerned about not lasting long enough based on how fast my Fleshlight makes me orgasm (under 1 minute) and I'm sure having a girl ride me ontop is not going to make me last longer, probably even shorter because I'll be aroused beyond belief.

Rayne

[igor]

First off, if you're a fairly quick orgasmer like I am, make sure she cums first, orally, manually, whatever it takes. Then she won't care as much how quick you are. Also, as you near orgasm - stop stimulation til that feeling goes away, then resume. By stopping/starting you can last a lot longer.

[pahadvice]

If its longevity that you are looking for try this. If you start feeling youself getting close to climax, stop having sex... pull out. You can keep her stimulated in the mean time with your had. Then after you calm down a bit (it shouldn't take too long), start back up. It works for me. You may also want to look into Tantric (sp) sex.

[Xzilalnx2]

I once asked the same question as probably every guy has. Budde is dead-on with asking the girl what makes her feel good. This is key. There is no point in lasting for 2 hours if you will never make the girl cum. The goal I'm guessing then is not necessarily lasting forever but lasting long enough to allow the both of you to cum.
What helps me: like budde said go-down on her... but let her communicate when she is close to cumming. If you time it right you can go back to having sex with her and essentially cum about the same time.

You want control: a person who cums to fast is probably in the same boat as a person who either takes too long to cum or can't cum at all most of the time. Ideally you will cum when you want to.

[Ann Andriani]

I think there's been some great suggestions here. Rayne, you keep saying that you can't think about sex when you have it so you don't cum too soon. That's not the thing to do. You absolutely need to be in touch with what's going on with your body. It's the only way to learn how to control it and master it. And believe it or not, you can start learning that now, you don't need a partner to do this.

When you're masturbating, either with hand or toy, pay attention to what you're feeling. When you feel yourself getting close to orgasm, just before the point of no return, stop stimulating yourself. Wait until it subsides. Then repeat the process again. It's the same thing that Igor and Pahadvice mentioned, but don't wait until you're with a partner, start learning now. Plus, if you've never had sex before, you'll be in a better place than most if you start the understanding part now. I would also switch up the masturbation routine and try different pressures and firmness of grip with hands and toys or you'll experience the opposite effect of not being able to cum because you're so used to one kind of stimulation only. Learning about your body and exploring things on your own will lead you down a better sexual path.

Igor also mentioned to make sure she reaches orgasm first. That is a technique. However, that still puts a lot of pressure on you. I know there's lots of times where Larry will reach orgasm first and that's good. You get that first quick one out, go through your refractory period and then the second erection should last longer. That's also a technique to try.

Something else Larry tried is the porn star technique. During intercourse the guys will pull out their cocks out and slap it against the woman's ass or vulva? We thought that was bullshit, but Larry said that helps him to last longer. I think this works for a couple of reasons, first it stops the thrusting for a moment, creating another action and sensation. So it's something to try.

The best thing you can do is understand the male body and how it functions during sex. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you know everything about the male body. Learn about how your plumbing works, then you'll truly understand what will work for you. Also experiment with the starting and stopping during masturbation. Then when you have sex you can use these other techniques and suggestions.

And when you do have sex, understand that it's not just about thrusting. There are so many other things that happen and changing positions and activities that I'm sure you'll last long enough.

Ann

[igor]

Something else I don't believe that has been mentioned in this thread is to use a desensing cream/liquid. There are several out there. I believe the active ingredient is Benzocaine. I used one called "Mandelay" Just one drop rubbed into the penis head will do the job. Don't use too much or you won't feel a thing. Wipe off excess if you don't use a condom or you'll numb her too.