Statistically what your friend was true. I find it weird that I am 20 and sex in high school('02-'06)for me is the same as sex in middle school('08) for little kids. Meaning the age at which kids lose their virginity is getting a bit younger ( on average ) as time goes on.
My argument is that little kids of 10-14yrs ( for the most part ) don't have the same sexual drive ( if any at all ) as a teen-adult of 16-23yrs.
If this is the case why do they desire to have sex? They must have learned it from their peers. Where did their peers learn of it? Sex ed?--No, older friends & classmates---yes, adults---yes, TV?---yes.
Sex is probably the greatest economic tool of our time. Meaning there is no incentive for "the media" to stop using it, b/c it is driven by money and practically no morality(in terms of motivation). Result? The age of sexual innocence will degrade till the same kids who watch Barney and Power Rangers are getting blow-jobs and having sex.
Lets pretend we are that acquaintance of yours: We know that it is nearly inevitable that our son will have sex at a young age. We also know that we don't want our 13 year old to get a girl pregnant. If all this is true. We also probably disagree with the idea of abstinence since as I said before the odds are against it. But the first mistake we would make is to just give condoms to our son. The second is trusting other institutions to "parent" our own child... that is just lazy.
What we may need to think of is what age would it be most appropriate for our son to have sex at? "Marriage"? That sounds grand... but with the inevitability of our son losing his virginity that seems very unlikely unless they get married by 17 or something. Ok how about 25? That sounds a bit more realistic but is still a long time... how on earth can we get him to hold out that long?
Answer---PARENT HIM don't let the school do it. To be more specific tell him to wait till marriage. You may feel like a hipocrit or like you are lying to him. The effect is not your son waiting to get married. The effect is delaying the age that your son has sex. Rather than having sex at 13-15 he'll probably end up doing it around 16-23. Every year that passes the child will inevitably gain some wisdom and thus be more ready for the responsibility than the year before.
Talk to your kids, open dialogue is the key. Children for the most part want their parents approval. Opinionate to your child your beliefs--- they will adopt them. Have you ever heard of "dad's disappointment is 10 times worse than the mom's punishment?"
After all the job of a parent is to raise a kid. The job of a good parent is to raise a good kid. The common idea of little children choose for themselves is a very common misconception. When we are shopping for cars we hopefully do research before buying any random car. We will get all the info possible to make sure we are making the best possible choice possible. We were not born being this resourceful. So we should not expect our children to be. When they make choices like when to have sex or who to have it with.... they are very un-resourceful. We need to "guide" our children into making good decisions. Teaching them to be resourceful. The only thing an institution like public school can teach them( in terms of parenting) is not to smoke, and how to follow the leader.
Make your child a leader. Delay the loss of their sexual innocence.
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10-03-2008, 05:31 PM
