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| Relationships This section deals with the emotional issues and psychological aspects of sex. DO NOT post general dating or general relationship questions here. Questions must be about or have something to do with sex and sexuality. |
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#1
10-03-2008, 03:14 AM
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I'am a 22 year male who's still a virgin, never had a girlfriend hell I have never kissed a woman!. I have only been on one blind date and that was back in late 06 with a friend who's now married. The last few months I have gottin out there and have been active around the oppsite sex and really trying to understand the feelings of what a woman wants, I find it very interesting when a woman opens up and talks  and have kept my mind opend to other possiblitlys besides sex and as a result I have made alot of female friends. Thats great and all but wouldn't a woman think that i'am weird or something? like there's something wrong with me.Also early this summer I had the chance to actually have sex with this girl in my marial arts calls but I completely turned it down insead my friend and her hit it off. I find myself having more and more opertuntys like that as I get out mess around but I just don't have any interest in doing so. I don't wanna be known as a "playa" if you know what iam saying?. To be honest being in Colorado its very difficult to find a good partner here in fact its impossible!. My Carrers are about to take flight here shortly and I couldn't be more happy everything is falling into place as I wanted it to. I have goals and one of them is to be successful at an early age and such to be big and to have a great family life. However my greatest fear is if I do make it will a woman love me for me or for what I can give them?. would she think iam a total loser for being a virgin at a later age dispite having all those offers to do it?. I also feel I wouldn't be successful with her either because of my lack of experience in dating, relationships, loving and sex. Girls what do you think? Whats your take on men who haven't dated or anything like that at a later age?.  |
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#2
10-04-2008, 09:23 AM
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#3
10-04-2008, 11:40 PM
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There's nothing wrong with being focused an goal driven it's actually a very admirable quality that I think you'll be happy to find a lot of women admire. Back in my college days a psychology professor told us something that I have always kept in mind regarding subconscious primal behavior. Weather we want to admit it or not subconsciously the first thing a man see's when he looks at a woman is can she bare me children and the first thing a woman sees is can he provide for me and take care of me. Now before I get trampled by all the women here this was just an observation study done at Harvard a long time a go. So in your case not saying it's the only thing a women will look at but the fact that your a stable responsible individual will only weigh in your favor. Regarding you being 22 and still a virgin, so what. Life isn't a race you don't have to beat anyone to the finish line. You have sex when you feel it's right and with the person you want to have sex with. From a personal observation I can honestly say having sex with a lot of women has been a better then fantastic experience. Not just satisfying lustful urges but lets say sampling the best life has to offer. I've had good, better, really fucking great and totally horrible sexual partners. For the most part my sex life and experiences have been great. I can say there is no other way I could have learned as much about sex as I have without having it with as many partners as I have had. One up side is it makes me appreciate my wife not only for her sexuality but for the person she is too. So I would say why not sample a little of what out there but if you wish to follow your plan then thats a good thing too. Oh and the part about a woman thinking your weird or a looser etc. for being a virgin at 22, someone who truly cares about you for who you are will not even care one bit. That you can take to the bank.
__________________ If it feels good do it! and if doesn't feel good your probably doing it wrong |
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#4
10-05-2008, 05:07 AM
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Have you ever heard the expression, "a guy can sleep with a lot of women and be called a hero, and a woman who sleeps with men can be called a slut?" There've been quite a few different ways to phrase that saying, but it basically amounts to a few key truths, one of which I'm going to share with you now. MEN expect other men to sleep around. Women really don't, though society can be said (but doesn't, necessarily) to cause women to think just that. I can say, knowing a lot of women and men who are fine with confiding in me, that if a man is a virgin, his fellow males may ostracize him, but to a woman, few things are sexier than a man with the willpower to wait. Yes, you're a virgin. So? I wish I still were. I wasted my virginity on someone whose virginity I also took, who then doubled around and said sex before marriage was wrong and that he shouldn't have done it. Having said that, and despite the fact that I'm pretty sure it won't happen to you, I want to prevent you from making that kind of mistake. You seem like a great guy. Why give yourself to a woman who won't appreciate the GIFT you are giving? I have to agree with Budde; have sex with who you want to have sex with, AND when you feel it is right, not because you feel you have to. Speaking purely as a woman, the fact that you are waiting for the right one is not only extremely admirable, but extremely attractive as well. There are going to be women who want men who've slept around, and some of those women are going to be around you and won't understand what it is you offer. Those women aren't worth your time. When you find a woman who is truly in awe of you for waiting, who respects your decisions, and understands what it means to you to have sex, then that is when you should offer her your first kiss. Sex, despite being fun, isn't the be-all and end all. You can have a roll in the hay or you can have a lasting relationship filled with talk, romance, and interests, all of which can add to the sexual aspect of the relationship. Any woman who values what you stand for will see that. That's my two cents...though at that length, it may be more like two dollars. Hope that helps!
__________________ "No lesson seems to be so deeply inculcated by the experience of life as that you should never trust experts. If you believe the doctors, nothing is wholesome: if you believe the theologians, nothing is innocent: if you believe the soldiers, nothing is safe. They all require to have their strong wine diluted by a very large admixture of insipid common sense." ~~~Lord Salisbury, 1830-1903 |
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#5
10-08-2008, 12:11 AM
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Well, I'm a woman, and I don't think you're a loser. It's hard to find a guy with that kind of self-control these days. A lot of guys end up losing their virginity to a girl they don't really like because they think other guys will respect them more for having lost it. If you are waiting for the right time for you, when you have met the woman that you think is worth giving yourself to, that's very admirable. A lot of women would be very flattered to know that you've held out for them. (Probably not for them specifically, but we like to think so). Some girls, (and I do mean GIRLS) may look down on you for it, but they don't deserve what you're offering them anyway. The right WOMAN will appreciate it, and won't judge you for it.
__________________ "Go out there and find someone who thinks the sun shines out your ass, even when it doesn't." |
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#6
10-08-2008, 02:19 PM
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The average woman will have no issue with you being a virgin - on the contrary, I know I would respect it and would feel honoured to be the first. You sound like an honest, genuine guy. I met my boyfriend when he was 25 and have a sneaking suspicion he was a virgin before he met me.
__________________ Hey sugar, wanna raise? |
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#7
10-08-2008, 02:45 PM
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Madstyle, I think you've received some very positive thoughts here and what the others say have a little bit of truth to it. However, there's probably going to be a good amount of women who will want to know WHY you're still a virgin and WHY you haven't been with anyone. The thought of, "What's wrong with him?" will go through their minds because you're someone that's different than probably most people they've met. So if I were you, I'd have my story together and make it truthful, but make it something impressive. Otherwise you could come across as the desperate guy who can't get a girlfriend. Be confident in yourself and your decision to wait. Just my point of view on it and since it was different, I felt the need to share it. Ann 
__________________ Get Educated Before You Get Busy! |
