is this normal?

[igor]

Originally Posted by infoman

For most of our 30 year marriage, I've never wanted sex with my wife more than once a week. The other times, I prefered to masturbate because orgasms are so much more powerful and satisfying. Also, I infrequently see an escort when I really want some excitement. For the first 10-20 years, my wife wanted more sex, but I made excuses. Now, that she's menopausal, she is okay with once a week sex.

Boy am I confused. You wanted sex with her no more than once a week, yet you also masturbated and screwed a prostitute. What do you mean - "made excuses"? Made excuses to her why you didn't want sex with her more? I wonder why not?

[Budde]

Ok that makes me feel better at least I'm not the only one confused

[greywolf7080]

You do not make good sense, but it sounds like a real good situation right now for you and your wife. Now that you family is likely gone and you are home alone, you can set aside a time each week when you can have some wonderful sex. We do not schedule all of our sexual activities, but we very seldom have outside activities on tuesday nights, so we have made this our "date night". We do a dinner, or movie, or just go window shopping or walking the river. When we get home, we go to the bedroom and enjoy our empty nest. Sex has never been better.

[xjambix]

I'd be so pissed if I was your wife. (No offence or anything). But you obviously want lots of sex/orgasms/whatever, but you only want a small proportion of them with her. That would make me feel really useless and inadequate.

In reply to your question, in my opinion, it's not normal. As people have said before me, many marriages are monogomous and that's what I think is normal.

But just because everyone else's marriage is monogomous, doesn't mean yours has to be.

I would try and work out why you only want sex with your wife once a week, if you want to change, how you can make it more exciting if that's what you want. What do you do with the prostitutes that make it more exciting?

I would also talk to your wife and find out how she's truly feeling, from your post, I sense that you've done this on your own back and not really talked to her about how you're feeling.

[watershadow]

I'm just mainly confused. If you are not sexually attracted to your wife, I have to ask this question; why did you marry her? You seem to be a person with needs and wants of a normal, healthy man, and yet you don't want to have sex with your wife who, in the beginning of your relationship, was perfectly willing to have sex with you on a more frequent basis?

Please enlighten me. I'm really really not understanding what question you are asking.