Sex Life Issues

[Bapper]

I love her, and want to be with her. She loves me and wants to be with me in a way. All of a sudden though she says that the physical life we had was no good, I understand that since I've been back it's been less than satisfactory because of what just happened, but I do not remember it ever being less than good.

My belief is that with all the stress of the last few months, and the intimate experiences she just had she is very confused. She told me in the last few weeks she's been dreaming of sex with women, but when I asked her if she wakes up turned on, or something she says "no." I think she still thinks that she may be gay. This is what I want to know.

The other day she said is it common for people in there 20's to go through sexual phases, I assumed "Yes." We've been together for a long period of time, and things are probably stale in her mind. She's thinking of other ways to do things, and thinks that may be the only way for her to enjoy things.

[Budde]

Well it take stwo to tango so why don't you try and think up some new ideas? Maybe some sort of romatic get away weekend wher ethe tow of you do nothing but fuck each others brains out. As far phases or any of that stuff I uess it may be true but you would need to ask a qualified person.

[Hope]

Personally, Budde, I think what she's saying is crap. We all have desires and things that intrigue us and want to explore. We dont all have phases that we go through with wanting to experiment and think that we might be gay. I'm still in a position to think that she's trying to find reasons to make this relationship fail and have it be so that she doesnt feel guilty/responsible for it happening. She's made a lot of bad choices here and so far it sounds like she's not taking responsibility for any of her actions and telling him that he's not really up to par anymore. And the more he tries, the more she's not interested.

I think that Budde is right though, it does take two to tango here. I have to question how hard is she trying to make this work. Is she putting forth the same amount of effort to save the relationship? The way all of this is presented, I think she's being a moving target and trying to make it all fall apart, subconsciously of course, but she's still doing it.

[Bapper]

Originally Posted by Hope

Personally, Budde, I think what she's saying is crap. We all have desires and things that intrigue us and want to explore. We dont all have phases that we go through with wanting to experiment and think that we might be gay. I'm still in a position to think that she's trying to find reasons to make this relationship fail and have it be so that she doesnt feel guilty/responsible for it happening. She's made a lot of bad choices here and so far it sounds like she's not taking responsibility for any of her actions and telling him that he's not really up to par anymore. And the more he tries, the more she's not interested.

I think that Budde is right though, it does take two to tango here. I have to question how hard is she trying to make this work. Is she putting forth the same amount of effort to save the relationship? The way all of this is presented, I think she's being a moving target and trying to make it all fall apart, subconsciously of course, but she's still doing it.

In my opinion, and from what she has said. She is going through what I can only call a quarterlife crisis. We've been married for a little over a year, but we've dated 5, I can't remember what not being with her was like. We get along well in all regards typically, and before this happened, I felt our sex life was great. At the time this happened I had just lost my job, and that caused problems for us.

Things are getting a bit better right now, we still haven't had sex in about 10 days, but I think she's coming around now. We haven't fought since Monday, and I'm doing my best to let the past be the past. I feel if I can keep my mind like that, develop better patience (and finally get a real job), that we can make this work.