He lasts way, way, WAY too long!

[jillian13]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 1/2 years. I love him so much, and he loves me, but we just don't have sex like we used to. He just lasts way too long! He was a heavy drug user in the past (before I met him). The drugs he did severely desensitized him... not to mention all the sex he was having because of the drugs and the people associated with them. Needless to say, the guy lasts roughly 40 minutes almost time.

This didn't used to be a problem... I was a virgin when I met him and we used to have sex 2 or 3 times a day, every day. But I'm not a newly non-virgin anymore, and what's worse: I have become super sensitive and can't sustain a wet area for as long as I used to be able to. After 15-20 minutes, it starts to hurt... REALLY hurt. For the most part, I deal and wait for him to finish. The downside to this, I have no desire to have sex anymore. I mean, would you want to do something if it hurt to do? (side note here: I do enjoy our sex before it hurts. It's AWESOME! Kinky and freaky.)

I came clean about my concerns, but he doesn't know what to do. We have tried EVERYTHING. If we foreplay too much, it takes him longer because he tries to control it so we can have sex (he loves sex... not foreplay so much). If there is no foreplay, then we're back to where we were. I'm just at a loss. I miss being able to have sex constantly, but I just can't keep sacrificing my comfort for his orgasm. The only thing that has worked is denying him sex for a few days to a week, then I know it will happen fast.

Any advice at all would be much appreciated!

[anaesthetic]

Have you tried lube?

[Budde]

If you two stay together for a long time there will come a day in the future where you will be wishing for those 40 minute fuck sessions. As time goes on it's inevitable that a man does not last as long r can recover and fuck as much as he used to. It's not for lack of trying or want it's just a physical thing and don't let any middle aged guy with a script for Viagra tell you anything different. When I was in my 20's fucking for 40 minutes to an hour befor eI came was the norm as I got older sex was still great but the hours worth of banging my girlfriend was some what in the past with the exception of one girl I dated for several years.I don't know the hows or the wy's but sex with her was like I was 20 again. I could fuck almost none stop. Beleive me I wish I was able to change back what ever took that away...........lol Try and be creative and make the most of it, some day you'll understand.

[CaptCurious]

Originally Posted by jillian13

If we foreplay too much, it takes him longer because he tries to control it so we can have sex (he loves sex... not foreplay so much). If there is no foreplay, then we're back to where we were.

Could you clarify what you mean by this? What do you mean by he tries to control it?

What kind of things do you do for foreplay?

Is he able to get off faster when he masturbates? If so, what is different?

How 'bout using a vibrator (on him)? porn? oral? jacking him with your hand?

[pintara]

your need to tease his sensitive spot during the sex , anues, nipples , or that , so he cum quicker . or tease him give him an oral , remember , when u do give him a oral , keep your hand buszy by tease his sensitive spot whereever you have chance , so he got aroused and will cum much much faster ,

any way is that your buy yourself some adult video , ask him watch and tease him
during the film , get him aroused , but make sure that he doesnt losing his load , after that you have sex , he will cum much sonner .

[wetnut]

My wife and I have had to deal with this over the years - I've never been one to orgasm quickly and like you, this was not a problem for my wife in the early years. Now she does get sore and tired. Two things fixed this:
- after 3 kids regular missionary was just too loose, so we just switch positions around: missionary with her legs together is wonderful! Spooling. Any position where her legs are together or she can cross them, I can sum in 10-15 minutes.
- foreplay - she masturbates me to where i can just feel orgasm starting. Then we fuck. I have to be careful not to cum too soon, but hey, that's a nice challenge for a change!