Why is it that sometimes I can orgasm and sometimes I can't?

[SexyGirl69]

Hi everyone. Sometimes when I masturbate, I can get off within about 5 or 6 minutes but other times it seems like I am stimulating and stimulating (rubbing the clit, clitoral hood, and vulva) and I never have an orgasm. What is going on?

[Virgo]

What are you thinking about? Are you always in the mood when you masturbate? I know that when I'm trying to have an orgasm I need to fantasise, either in my head or sometimes I read erotic fiction, but it is definitely not just about stimulation.
Some times I try masturbating but can't get in the mood so it just doesn't work and I give up until I feel right.

The clit/vulva isn't just an orgasm producing button, your mindset needs to be right; remember that your most important sexual organ is your brain.

[anaesthetic]

I don't understand why people feel like they have to get off every time they have sex or masturbate. What the hell is wrong with not having an end goal? Why is something automatically wrong if we don't orgasm every time?

[SexyGirl69]

Originally Posted by Virgo

What are you thinking about? Are you always in the mood when you masturbate? I know that when I'm trying to have an orgasm I need to fantasise, either in my head or sometimes I read erotic fiction, but it is definitely not just about stimulation.
Some times I try masturbating but can't get in the mood so it just doesn't work and I give up until I feel right.

The clit/vulva isn't just an orgasm producing button, your mindset needs to be right; remember that your most important sexual organ is your brain.

Thanks Virgo. Your advice is greatly appreciated. I will try getting into the right mindset next time I am involved in any sort of sexual activity.

[Ann Andriani]

SexyGirl,

Mindset has a lot to do with ability to not only get off, but get aroused in the first place. If you're feeling really tired, if you've been stressed or worried about things, issues or people in your life, it can be difficult to shut all that off for sexual pleasure. Sometimes you can get right into it and other times you need to relax and work your way there.

You may also think about your environment when masturbating. Sometimes a woman can easily do it in the shower or lay down on the couch and rub one out with what seems like no effort. There are other times when it's best to set a sexy environment with lights, music, erotica or porn. So you may want to look into that as well.

Things that happens to us in life has an affect on our sex life be it with a partner(s) or masturbation because sexual pleasure is not just a physical thing it's emotional/intellectual as well.

Ann