How to Handle Rejection

[Bluefirerose]

After two years of being with the same man, he just told me that I give bad blow jobs. In the past, I have asked him how I can improve and he always says I do it just fine. I'm not sure what hurts more, the fact that I'm not good at it, or the fact that it took him two years to tell me. How can I get over feeling like a failure at the one thing I thought gave him so much pleasure?

[karma]

At first it's not really your fault. How in the hell could have you known if you're doing all of it right or wrong? You have asked him how you could improve your skills and I think that is enough. You don't have a penis to know what kind of touch actually feels good! Just like men - they cannot know what places are the most sensitive in our vulva or vagina and what feels the best before they get some feedback.

Now just start it all over! Talk about this thing so deeply and tell him how you feel about it and ask why was is so difficult for him to tell you the fact. Then you can practise together. Your boyfriend can tell you how you should do it and what feels good and what doesn't. Then everybody can be happy

[wildflower8010]

I agree with the other post. He will have to tell you what he likes and dislikes because every individual is different. Just keep the communication open.

[Seb]

He didn't tell you because he would be worried of this kind of reaction, its like if you got bad oral sex from a guy, you would be embarrassed about telling him. This is harder for guys to say because sex is usually thin ground to be treading on, generally the attitude men have to take is to "be thankful for what they get" this causes them to suppress complaints.

Whether this applies to your situation or not, its still basic psychology that's affecting his decision not to say.

Please read my guide posted in a new thread in these forums, I go over everything that you might need to do to please him, if you follow the advice, you could blow his mind away overnight and make him eat his words!

p.s. I'm not ignoring the way he treated you which was unreasonable, I'm just trying to suggest the most helpful resolution